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Office Personalities: Which one are you?!

Office Personalities: Which one are you?! you love your cat a bit too much?!

We all have one – that annoying colleague whose habits and eccentricities gets right up our nose!

Take a look around your office and see which personalities you can suss out and learn how to handle them!

  • The Hipster ΓÇô He wears the loudest tie and the silliest socks and is a grand master of the fake golf swing and finger pistols. Shouts Fore! or Six! every time he swings into action and gets everyone to e-mail him details of the local bespoke tailor.
  • The Borrower ΓÇô Is your stapler always going missing? Tell your office borrower youΓÇÖll start charging them interest if they miss the deadline – one chocolate bar for every hour past the deadline sounds a reasonable amount.
  • The Snake ΓÇô Yuck! Slimy, limp hand shaker who slithers around and stares at colleagues for far longer than should be allowed. Intensify your own hand shake grip and start staring back in an attempt to out freak your colleague.
  • The Snacker ΓÇô They slurp their way through lunch, talk with their mouth full and share much more of their lunch than they should. Vomiting actions or comments on the nationΓÇÖs poor eating habits should nip this in the bud.
  • Pussy Galore ΓÇô sweet yet totally neurotic colleague whose desk is covered in pictures of “Fluffy” and who loves to share stories of her pussyΓÇÖs “cute” and “amazing” antics. Fight back with “Fido” pictures or invent a few alarming shaggy dog tales about cat lovers.
  • Moaning Minnie ΓÇô thereΓÇÖs always one person who weΓÇÖd like to put a sock in it ΓÇô sometimes literally! Nothing ever goes right for them and they are always looking at the glass as half empty! Counter your corporate Victor Meldrew by whistling Always look on the Bright Side of Life.
  • The Gossip ΓÇô loves a good drama and is always first to share any scandal. Tell your colleague an outrageous story “in confidence” then watch it spread like wildfire around the office. Then confront them publicly with the fact that you are not really moonlighting as a lap dancer to pay for your daughterΓÇÖs gap year ΓÇô surely they can understand a joke when they hear one!
  • The Sniffer ΓÇô The woman (or indeed man) who overdoses on perfume or aftershave and wafts through the office. Break into fits of sneezing and talk about your severe allergic reaction.
  • The Message Mangler ΓÇô Takes a message but always forgets to find out where the caller is from or take a contact number – or forgets the message altogether! Give them a message template with headings for name, company and number or remove their phone altogether.
  • The Enthusiastic Bore – everyone has a hobby or interest outside the office – but why don’t they get left there?! Some people think you are just as interested in their football team, sports car or house renovation as they are and so insist on providing you with every last detail of Saturday’s match or the under floor heating they are installing – thrilling!
  • The Commentator – the Des Lynham of the office, providing a running commentary on anything and everything that goes on in the office, constantly butting in on other conversations. Give them a dose of their own medicine and start joining in their conversations un-invited.

By far the best method of dealing with the eccentrics in your office to help you stay sane is to approach them with humour, charm or beating them at their own game. However, if things are genuinely getting out of hand, it is always advisable to speak with your personnel department whose role it is to nip any genuine problems in the bud.

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Author: | November 6, 2007 | 0 Comments

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