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Office Personalities: The Magic Mix

Office Personalities: The Magic Mix

Love them or hate them, the average workplace is made up of a wide variety of personalities ΓÇô all of which help to create the unique atmosphere that is our day-to-day working life. But in an attempt to classify and distinguish the creatures of this workspace wilderness, we have outlined some of the common species we have come across during our time working in the office.

1. The Vuvuzela

Allergic to silence and prone to an ear piercing outburst at any moment, this regular addition to the office dynamic can sometimes be lovable – but more often than not annoying, distracting and a gun-shot wound to the leg of productivity.

2. The Land Grabber

Pens, Pencils, Post-Its and Fridge Space ΓÇô nothing is safe from this office kleptomaniac. Collecting up anything that is not tied down, the natural hoarding instincts of these individuals are only rivaled by a fat-cheeked hamster. Always the best person to approach for a highlighter but donΓÇÖt be surprised if it is tethered to a rope.

3. OCD Andy

Afraid of change and with a desktop marked out with a set square, the OCDΓÇÖer is the ideal candidate for anything based around routine and repetition but a nightmare when anything unexpected happens. Just donΓÇÖt sit in their chair for any reason ΓÇô they will somehow know and then spend several hours putting it back to the optimum angle.

4. The Kettle Vulture

The kettle is boiling, your mug is primed and you turn your back for one minute – only to find someone has swooped in and left nothing but a dribble in the still steaming kettle. Cunning and seemingly unaware of their actions, these individuals will usually be the one happily slurping teas in the corner while you are once more heading off to the tap to fill up the kettle… again!

5. The Moaning Minnie

Convinced that the company would fail without them, these soul-sapping individuals will find any excuse to pick fault and pass comment. Someone makes them a cup of tea? It is sure to be too weak, strong, sweet or not in their usual mug. Birthday cakes? They donΓÇÖt like the flavour. Staff outing? ΓÇô DonΓÇÖt even try!

6. Penny Pep!

Lovable and fun, these happy-go-lucky lads and ladies are always full of get up and go ΓÇô possibly because of a happy disposition, or possibly because they are locked in a gin-soaked haze! Either way they are always popular and a joy to have around!

6. The Feeder

Cakes, Croissants and Cup Cakes – These people are forever arriving with a deluge of heart-aching delicacies for others to enjoy. But despite delivering the average output of a bakery, they are forever on a diet and therefore never eat any of it themselves… at least not in eyeshot!

Calling all Workplace Biologists! Have you classified a unique species in your place of work? If so why not share your findings using our comments board below?

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