Are You an Ideas Hamster or Ready to Plug and Play?
When The ApprenticeΓÇÖs Simon Smith got the chop from the BBCΓÇÖs hugely popular show and watched back footage of himself trying to manage a task for Sir Alan, even he admitted he should have been fired for some hideously embarrassing ΓÇÿBrentyΓÇÖ moments.
So what other pitfalls should any wannabe apprentices trying to climb the career ladder avoid?
officebroker.com, the countryΓÇÖs leading online office brokerage business, has spoken to businesses across the UK to compile a top ten list of the latest cringe worthy office terminology ΓÇô all of which should be avoided if you want to steer clear of looking like David Brent or being fired yourself.
The officebroker.com Top Ten
– Calling a colleague a ΓÇÿ404ΓÇÖ (as in the web error message 404: Not Found) for being completely useless.
– Saying you will ΓÇÿknife and forkΓÇÖ a task ΓÇô in other words, manage it bit by bit.
– Claiming at an interview that you are ΓÇÿready to plug and playΓÇÖ ΓÇô in other words you are fully trained and can start the job immediately without any support or training.
– Offering to ΓÇÿbookmarkΓÇÖ someone you meet at a conference (taking note of someone and their contact details).
– Inviting colleagues or staff to a ΓÇÿthought showeringΓÇÖ session ΓÇô the supposedly now PC term for brainstorming.
– Referring to your PC as the ΓÇÿsquare headed spouse’.
– Declaring that there is an ΓÇÿelephant in the roomΓÇÖ or indeed a ΓÇÿ100lb gorillaΓÇÖ. What you actually need to do is be the one to admit that there is a big problem that everyone is ignoring.
– Describing yourself as being ΓÇÿbehind the curveΓÇÖ ΓÇô in other words, claiming you have a grip on modern technology and life.
– Talking about ΓÇÿswallowing the frogΓÇÖ when tackling a particularly horrible task…
– Talk about spending the afternoon ΓÇÿin the fieldΓÇÖ ΓÇô everyone will know you are skiving!
Jim Venables, Managing Director, officebroker.com
Jim Venables, officebroker.com MD.
ΓÇ£There is a lot of inane office terminology out there, picked up by ambitious people who adopt it as part of their language in a bid to fit in,ΓÇ¥ says Jim Venables, Managing Director of officebroker.com. ΓÇ£But we say thereΓÇÖs nothing like good, honest straight talking to see you on your way to success in business.ΓÇ¥
ΓÇ£We are sure Sir Alan Sugar would cringe at some of the management speak heard in offices across the land on a daily basis, and the ΓÇÿcringometerΓÇÖ in our own office certainly goes off if we ever hear anyone from officebroker.com attempting to use such terminology!ΓÇ¥
Jim continues: ΓÇ£My business partner Andy and I find we ΓÇÿsing from the same hymn sheetΓÇÖ when it comes to straightforward honest business talk. WeΓÇÖre ΓÇÿbatting for the same teamΓÇÖ and like to ΓÇÿwork hard, play hardΓÇÖ to ensure the success of our business.
ΓÇ£We use lots of ΓÇÿblue sky thinkingΓÇÖ to come up with creative ideas and are always ready to ΓÇÿbite the bulletΓÇÖ or ΓÇÿgrasp the nettleΓÇÖ, often ΓÇÿpushing the needleΓÇÖ to take things on to another level,ΓÇ¥ explains Jim. ΓÇ£Sometimes it feels like weΓÇÖre having a ΓÇÿsalmon dayΓÇÖ and swimming against the tide, but we ΓÇÿtouch baseΓÇÖ regularly to keep on top of things and Andy often gives me a ΓÇÿheads upΓÇÖ on certain issues which, a lot of the time donΓÇÖt need ΓÇÿa degree in rocket scienceΓÇÖ to overcome.
ΓÇ£Like most companies we often find ourselves indulging in a session of ΓÇÿblamestormingΓÇÖ if something doesnΓÇÖt go according to plan, but we are both such little ΓÇÿideas hamstersΓÇÖ that we always ΓÇÿget the ball rollingΓÇÖ again quickly!ΓÇ¥