A Sniffer or a Smacker?! Which office personality are you?
We all have one – that annoying colleague whose habits and eccentricities gets right up our nose!
officebroker.com is the UKΓÇÖs largest online broker of commercial office space and works with more than 97% of the UKΓÇÖs serviced office space providers and landlords. Here, the company reveals some of the most common workplace personalities and offers advice on how to stay sane throughout your working day:
The Hipster ΓÇô He wears the shiniest suit, the loudest tie and the silliest socks and is a grand master of the fake golf swing, finger pistols, thumbs up or spin bowl action. Shout Fore! or Six! every time he swings into action and get everyone to email him details of the local bespoke tailor.
The Borrower ΓÇô Something missing from your desk? Every office has a perpetual borrower. Tell them youΓÇÖll start charging ΓÇÿinterestΓÇÖ if they miss the deadline – one chocolate bar for every hour past the deadline sounds a reasonable amount.
The Snake ΓÇô Slimy, limp hand shaker who slithers around and stares at colleagues for far longer than should be allowed. Intensify your own hand shake grip and start staring back in an attempt to out freak your colleague.
The Smacker ΓÇô The colleague who slurps their way through lunch, talks with their mouth full and shares far more of their lunch than they should. Vomiting actions or comments on the nationΓÇÖs poor eating habits should nip this in the bud.
Pussy Galore ΓÇô sweet yet neurotic colleague whose desk is covered in pictures of ΓÇÿFluffyΓÇÖ and who loves to share stories of her pussyΓÇÖs ΓÇÿcuteΓÇÖ and ΓÇÿamazingΓÇÖ antics. Fight back with ΓÇÿFidoΓÇÖ pictures or invent a few alarming shaggy dog tales about cat lovers.
Jim Venables, Managing Director, officebroker.com
Moaning Minnie ΓÇô thereΓÇÖs always one person who weΓÇÖd like to put a sock in it ΓÇô sometimes literally! Counter the corporate Victor Meldrew by whistling ΓÇÿAlways look on the Bright Side of LifeΓÇÖ.
The Gossip Monger ΓÇô loves a good drama and is always first to share any scandal. Tell your colleague a story ΓÇÿin confidenceΓÇÖ then watch it spread like wildfire. Then confront them publicly with the fact that you are not really moonlighting as a lap dancer to pay for your daughterΓÇÖs gap year ΓÇô surely they can understand a joke when they hear one!
The Sniffer ΓÇô The woman (or indeed man) who overdoses on perfume or aftershave and wafts through the office. Invest in the cheapest, nastiest smelly you can find or break into fits of sneezing and talk about your severe allergic reaction.
The Message Mangler ΓÇô Takes a message but always forgets to find out where the caller is from or take a contact number. Give them a message template with headings for name, company and number or remove their phone altogether.
officebroker.com was founded by entrepreneurs Jim Venables and Andy Haywood five years ago and has grown into a multi-million pound enterprise with offices in the UK and US, and plans to launch divisions in Hong Kong and Amsterdam in 2008.
Managing Director Jim Venables said: ΓÇ£Anyone who has ever worked in an office will have encountered these characters. We reckon humour, charm or beating them at their own game, are some of the best ways to deal with irritating colleagues and their habits. However, if things are genuinely getting out of hand, it is always advisable to speak with your personnel department whose role it is to nip any genuine problems in the bud.ΓÇ¥