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Classic quotes from David Brent, star of hit TV show The Office.

Rules of The Office

• Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.
• If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
• If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
• If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes - make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.
• Is your work done? Are all pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?...
• Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
• Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.
• Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.
• Remember the 3 golden rules:
  1.It was like that when I got here.
  2.I didn't do it.
  3.(To your Boss) I like your style.
• Set out to leave the first vapour trail in the blue-sky scenario.
• Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man - more for leaning on than illumination.
• There may be no 'I' in team, but there's a 'ME' if you look hard enough.