MEDIA CENTRE

1. Calling a colleague a ‘404’ (as in the web error message 404: Not Found) for being completely useless.
2. Saying you will ‘knife and fork’ a task – in other words, manage it bit by bit.
3. Claiming at an interview that you are ‘ready to plug and play’- in other words you are fully trained and can start the job immediately without any support or training.
4. Offering to ‘bookmark’ someone you meet at a conference (taking note of someone and their contact details).
5. Inviting colleagues or staff to a ‘thought showering’ session – the supposedly now PC term for brainstorming.
6. Referring to your PC as the ‘square headed spouse’.
7. Declaring that there is an ‘elephant in the room’ or indeed a ‘100lb gorilla’. What you actually need to do is be the one to admit that there is a big problem that everyone is ignoring.
8. Describing yourself as being ‘behind the curve’ – in other words, claiming you have a grip on modern technology and life.
9. Talking about ‘swallowing the frog’ when tackling a particularly horrible task
10. Talk about spending the afternoon ‘in the field’ – everyone will know you’re skiving!

“There is a lot of inane office terminology out there, picked up by ambitious people who adopt it as part of their language in a bid to fit in,” says Jim Venables, managing director of officebroker.com “But we say there’s nothing like good, honest straight talking to see you on your way to success in business.